|
[09 Aug 2008|04:21pm] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) greystockings
i moved journals; i needed a fresh start, you can add me if you want.
laura xx
|
|
|
[24 Jul 2008|02:17pm] |
|
i chickened out of the who journalling thing for a while. i'm petrified of familiarity and expectations, and for some reason i began to think i was not posting like i was meant to be doing. also, my life has been verging on pointless just lately so i haven't had a lot to say. god knows who i'm apologising to, i need to remember to write this thing for me, not the people that might read it.
i've had absolutley no money lately, and people that say money can't buy you happiness are lying. for the 2 months that i had to save every penny i had to pay mine and dan;s rent i went out maybe twice, i didn't read any books or journals, i didn't eat any nice food etc etc. nothing. i was so excited for the summer, going away, taking a course, reading and writing. but so far i have worked pretty much every day. we're not going away as we can't afford it. i can't take a course as i didn't have any money when it was time to book it. and as for reading...i'm so exhausted. i'm at work now, and every weekday. when i get home i just sit on the sofa and stare at something, usually the tv. i made the effort the other day, and read the bluest eyes in two days. god that felt good. and i picked up a copy of bitch magazine and sharpened my feminist mind. and actually the other day i wrote some poetry! so maybe it's not all so bad. i just feel so tired. so we have some money now, and it feels great. being able to go food shopping and not worrying about not being able to pay the shopping bill. being able to treat myself to that dress i really wanted. tonight me and dan are going out for a meal at what seems to be a very nice italian restraunt in the west end. i'm really looking forward to it, i even bought a change of clothes with me!
every so often, it seems me and dan go through these kind of renewals. we remember how much we like each other. like last night we spent the night playing music to each other, new stuff that we thought the other would like, and old stuff that we remembered showing to each other years ago. and just lately i haven't felt at all like having sex, not with dan or anyone. but suddenly it has come back... yesterday we both left work early to...be with each other. living with each other is going much better than i thought it would. occasionally i really want to be by myself and i miss that, but i guess i could always go and sit in the bedroom, so the desire can't be that strong. we snap at each other, but i would be worried if we didn't. but more often than not we curl up together.
so with all these money worries out of the way it seems that everything is trying to fall into place.
|
|
|
[01 Jul 2008|02:41pm] |
So this has been floating around my friends list for the last few days, I'm really bored at work, so I thought I'd give it a go.
"The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed."
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
|
|
|
[24 Jun 2008|10:48am] |
Just lately, if I'm not out, and I'm just sitting at home, I've been getting sleepy at about 8-9pm and fall asleep by 9.30pm. Like I can't keep my eyes open anymore however much I try and I don't remember laying down and going to sleep. I hate it. I never used to fall asleep this early, I used to stay awake until about 1-2am.
Anyone got any ideas about how I can keep awake longer?
|
|
|
[18 Jun 2008|10:49am] |
WE GOT THE HOUSE!
When I saw the email from Dan it hit me how excited I am about it all!
|
|
|
[15 Jun 2008|09:53am] |
as it was sunny yesterday i went for a walk in camden. it really isn't the same any more, a shell of it's former self. all the amazing vintage shops that went on forever and ever are gone, and are being replaced with a glass shopping centre :(
but it was nice walking there. i walked along the canal from regents park. there was a man playing an accordion and it sounded amazing bouncing off the walls and the bridges. and i saw some nice things:
|
|
|
[13 Jun 2008|10:21pm] |
|
i just spoke to dan on msn. i haven't really done that for about 3 years now. i felt like i was 15 again and it was horrible.
|
|
|
[13 Jun 2008|03:18pm] |
I'm going to watch ghost world when I get in.
I need to feel like, if I wanted to, I could leave everything behind.
|
|
|
[13 Jun 2008|01:28pm] |
working in the civil service is so frustrating sometimes, i don't know if i should write about it here though, i remember a little while ago that someone got sacked for doing a similar thing. but i'll just say they all make things much harder for themselves.
last night i went to waitrose (ooh posh!) and got myself a nice baguette and a chocolate cupcake cos i felt like having a really nice lunch. then this morning i spent ages getting it ready, the cake was sitting pretty in it's little box...then, as i stepped off the tube at green park to change trains, i realised i had forgotten it! so looks like i'll be having lunch again for dinner.
there are two other livejournal people in my office, it was a nice surprise to look up and see the blue and white stripey pages :)
going to start packing tonight i think, though i'm not sure what to put the stuff in really. i don't have any boxes...maybe i'll go buy some of those big bags from sainsbury's, or look in woolworths for some boxes. i'm going to try and stay up later than 9 too, hah, i keep falling asleep really really early and waking up at 5! i'll put something on to watch, that should keep me awake.
god my life is boring at the moment.
|
|
|
[12 Jun 2008|02:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Beat Happening - In Between |
] |
last night i went to the gym, i got in about 8, had tea and was in bed asleep by nine. it was fun at the gym though, i really do like working out, and i like how my tummy feels flat afterwards :) i'm going to get back to going twice a week, which shouldn't be too hard as i enjoy it, but it is far away.
tonight, it's going to be a nice me night. i'm going to go to waitrose and get a little tub or ben and jerrys or a cupcake (or both, heh), go in, eat some pasta, sauce and cheese, then watch a film. maybe man on the moon that my friend mel lent me. then when that's finished i think i might finish reading my riot grrrl book, i can't actually believe i haven't finished reading it yet.
i wish there was a movement i could be a part of.
i wish i had a group of friends.
anyway, in other news, i sent mine and dan's forms off to the estate agents for the referencing and credit checks. i hope we pass!!
|
|
|
[11 Jun 2008|08:19pm] |
i don't think i want julia to stay.
well, part of me does, to prove to myself and to dan that i am a strong, cool and interesting individual. that i can stand by myself and be free.
but another part of me keeps thinking about them alone. i don't mind dan doing stuff with other people, hell, i want to do it myself.
i don't like her at all. maybe because she reminds me of myself. but even i'm not that pathetic and whiney.
she's just a girl from poland.
|
|
|
[11 Jun 2008|01:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dr Who theme tune is in my head |
] |
i got a new game for my ds last night! it's been to long! it's called secret codes: tunguska, it's about a girl who has to find out the truth about some explosion that tookplace and killed thousands and people. anyway, it looks like an amazing point and click adventure game! there is definitely not enough them around, games like pheonix wright, another code or hotel dusk. i've played them all about 5 times through. it annoys me that uk shops seem only to have brain training games or sim games. the ds isn't just for kids or commuters! i think i might sneak it out in a bit and play it behind my keyboard.
me and dan got really snappy with each other this morning, now i think about it, it was nothing really, just we were both tired, it was too early, and i had woke up in a bad mood. but we spent the whole walk to the station saying things to each other that we knew would hurt the others feelings. we'd made up by the time we got to the station. i really like (and should remember more) that we just can't stay angry at each other, we've never really fallen out for more than an hour maybe, not even that. when you invest that much of yourself in something and someone you're going to get irratible.
they've started putting chanel 5 on the tv in front of me at work, they play some weird stuff on that channel. yesterday there was a film on about a couple that had a cloned baby because their daughter dies and they wanted a new one to replace her. typical exchange:
dad: 'this baby wows me.'
mum: 'yeah'
dad: 'you wow me.'
|
|
|
[10 Jun 2008|12:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kimya Dawson - Better Weather |
] |
everyday when i get into work i go on livejournal and look through my communities. usually that takes me until about 2pm as i do work in that time (unbelievably!) but today i was done at about 12. also me and dan have an email conversation, and that usually gets up to about 20 messages long, today we managed 6... what to do for the rest of the day?! i hate that 8 hours of my life everyday are exactly the same. and when i get home i'm to tired to do anything.
god, i need to stop whinging about this job.
yesterday after work i managed to do something. i went to oxford street and bought some clothes. i went to primark and it totally failed me. i also felt really weird, like i was a little sheep, squabbling with everyone else over tatty cheap clothes. so i left there and went to topshop, and i haven't been there for ages! i was pleasantly suprised, it seems that all shops are tagging along with the american apparel craze and i got this really nice long purple cardigan. i got some leggings too from h&m.
by the time i got home it was about 8pm and i just slumped on my bed, watched dr who and wrote a letter. i'm going to try and write all my outstanding letters to my penpals this week!
dan's coming round tonight, it's kind of weird that soon i won't say that anymore cos we'll be living together! while that makes me happy, it's kind of sad as i still kind of get really excited when the time nears that he'll be turing up, and tidying my room and making myself look super nice. i hope that we don't lose that when we move in together.
i think i might spend the rest of the day planning a new tattoo. it's funny, when i went to get my love letter, they said they should place it in a specific way so that i could work round it if i wanted a sleeve. and i said, i'm pretty sure i don't want a sleeve...last night i came to the conclusion that i definitely want a sleeve!! hehe. well a half one, i don't really like how tattoos look on forarms. i know that i'm going to keep to blues and purples and that i really want a portrait of a girl in a frame. so now to get doodling! i've also decided that i'm going to get a tatoo for my dad. one that i can show him, and let him now i love him, because we don't say those things in my family. i guess it's kind of sad, my parents hugged me for the first time in years when i moved into halls cos i was crying, and that made me cry even more! anyway, he really loves horses, he was in the kings troop (look it up, it's really cool!) and he has a tattoo of a horse on his arm and a really massive one that goes accross his chest (i still haven't got over how cool it is!). so i think i'm going to get the head and shoulders of a horse with a banner going across the bottom. yeah, i think he'd like that.
|
|
|
[08 Jun 2008|10:34am] |
|
|
|
[07 Jun 2008|08:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
House of Cards |
] |
i go on livejournal everyday, and sit on it all day at work; so i'm going to try and write in here everyday. it doesn't have to be the most interesting fun-packed day, but it will be good to write down my days.
today was quite a busy day, but slightly lonely.
for so long i hated (or thought i did) being around people, but lately, the more time i spend with people, the more i like being with them, and feel the lack of their presence more often. i need to get used to and liking, spending time with myself again.
so, today, woke up ever so very early. played some ds, i've missed phoenix wright, i really do hope that they release that gumshoe/edgworth game, it will be the best game ever!
i went to senate house library, i really didn't want to, i really don't want to do anything even remotely academic at the moment. so i left there as soon as possible. so i went to the national portrait gallery and there was an exhibition of portraits of the bluestocking ladies which was really interesting, they were an amazing group of women!
when i got back, i watched some music dvd's i have, and remembered how much i love sleater-kinney and eighties matchbox b-line disaster!! ah, fond fond memories :)
now i'm watching house of cards, ah political fiction! frances urqhart is so evil!
i would have liked to have spent more time out in town today, but i was so tired. i hate working! i really need to make more of my spare time.
|
|
|
[06 Jun 2008|11:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
We got a flat!
We finally found place! It was definitely worth the hard slog, it's lovely!
It's brand new, only one person has lived there before us. And it's in this kind of turret, so there is no walls joining on to any neighbours, so we can be as noisy as we want! And it's above a shop! And it's opposite a massive, beautiful park!
The flats split on to two levels, so there is loads of space! It's in Tower Hamlets, so super close to Brick Lane and all the great places we go to in East London.
Only thing that is horrible is the money. The flat itself is cheap, it's just the deposit and admin and all that stuff that stings. I've got to find £1440 from somehwere. Well, I have most of it, it's just me worrying. Actually I could get the rest on my credit card and then pay it back as soon as I get paid at work! Good plan! But I don;t see how esate agents can get away with charging £295 for admin! All they did was email me a form to fill out! But what a form, they want my whole life history. God I hope I don't fail the credit check, I'm sure I won't though, I mean I have a job and a student loan coming in.
Anyway, I'm rambling and worrying. Best get back to thinking how I could decorate...any ideas?
|
|
|
[04 Jun 2008|10:10am] |
shitty penpal
shitty commenter
shitty journaler
i couldn't wait for uni to end so had time to do whatever i wanted, but now all i do is sit at work.
and my evenings are taken up with looking for a house, i hate doing it so much. going to see two flats tonight, i hope they're nice.
|
|
|
[19 May 2008|04:28pm] |
i started work full time today. and i got new things to do. i'm still here, the day is starting to drag.
now, rather than answering emails from nutty members of the public, i answer letters from nuttier members of the public. it seems to be a general rule, that if you take the time to handwrite a 9 page letter, it's going to contain some weird things. for example i got one today from a lovely baptist lady telling me that everyone who tries hard in life is going straight to hell for going against what god gave them naturally. she also said that the current pope blasphemed when he got to america and said sorry for all the child abuse. apparently the letter was about global warming but i couldn't see that in any of the 9 pages.
i was really looking forward to going and sitting in the park at lunch time to, i made me a nice lunch, but it clouded over i got stuck at my desk.
i'm going shopping after work for some art supplies, going to get cracking with my drawing skills and with my journal :)
|
|
|
[17 May 2008|10:06am] |
well, we didn't quite do what we planned to last night. no meal and no film.
i ended up meeting dan at brick lane in the flat he stays at and sat around with the guys (fegus, alan, simon, chris and stefan) and played mario cart for a bit. then me and dan went on a mission for bagels from the 24 hour bagel place. i had two cheese bagels (lots of butter) and a chocolate muffin (which only came to £2.60!) and dan had two cream cheese and cucumber bagels and a vegetable baji.
we headed up to rough trade, where for some reason they were playing a death metal band, i really think they are trying to spread themselves to thin in what they stock. they are meant to be the uk distributor for kill rocks stars bands, but they never have any of their stuff :( i had a look through the new singles section and the folk section but to no avail.
so we headed off to the ten bells, a pub where jack the ripper murdered someone, and where our friend flo works. it's kind of strange, dan has lived with her before, and known her for about 5 years, yet knows very little about her, but they still get on great. she has a husband, well he is a guy she is going out with and met while she was in america and they got married for visa reasons. ha. so, we got free drinks all night from her which was super nice, it's great knowing so many people that work in bars and coffee shops round there. so the guys came along and we spent all night out there drinking. someone behind me kept through lemon seeds at me and they kept landing in my drink, which in a way was kind of fortunate as the drink i had was horrible. don't try the bulmers pear cider, it just tastes like a diluted version of the apple one.
after that, we went to the tube and got it back to mine. not quite what we planned but i think i enjoyed that more. i'm rarely in the mood to go out so i like to embrace it when i do.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
